Desire. Trust. Time.

Rex took me for a midnight stroll last Monday night. Hand in hand we talked about our day and all the little things just to keep each other updated. Rex brought up how his mom was telling everyone that he had a girlfriend down at EAC. I just laughed it off not really thinking about it, but it lead into a serious discussion. Rex started to remind me of the night we put ourselves on the same page and how we decided to take it slow. Rex was completely honest when he said he did that for me at an attempt to keep me from feeling rushed or pressured. Haha. Rex gave me the power! Rex told me how he didn't want to date anyone else and that he wanted to grow in our relationship by going to the next step. Rex wanted to date me. Rex wanted me to be his girlfriend. Rex had that desire. Desire, that burning feeling that draws two people together. I couldn't deny my heart. I had that desire to date Rex and only Rex. The only problem was that I had just spoken with my mother about her wanting me to date other guys. I informed Rex of this and could see him backing off...this was only because I wasn't being very clear. That is what my mom wanted me to do. I, on the other hand, wanted nothing more than to be Rex's girlfriend. I care about Rex and for him to want to date me...it is just a beautiful thing. 

We then talked about past relationships and what we learned from them personally. We told each other our first kiss stories. Rex asked permission to kiss a girl, while I just kissed the guy so he would take me home. Two different experiences, but it still brought us together merely through sharing. Oh and bytheway throughout this entire night Rex and I would just kiss. Kissing is what people that like each other and just decided to date do. No big deal. Hugging Rex under the clock tower as I felt his lips on mine is a moment I will treasure forever. We are just starting out and it is so much fun just to play around...having fun in the process. Not taking life to seriously...ya know. Then we dived deep into the onion. Rex told me about Miranda. They were in love and for some reason time was against them. Rex got a terrible sick feeling in the temple and well that's never a good sign. Long story short, Miranda taught Rex that he needs time and also to abide by what the Lord wants, not what Rex wanted. This lead to me disclosing my bad experience with dating Stuke. Stuke would drink, party, and cheat on me. When we were together he would put on a facade and I would believe the lie he had created. Stuke didn't respect me and would always try to get past my strict standards, but would fail in his attempt. Stuke was a mistake and he was not a man of God. I think Rex understood that I was in a low point in my life and how embarrassed I was of how long I let my relationship with Stuke continue. Rex and I were emotionally drained that night and I needed time to think. Yes, Rex and I were official now. But for some reason I had to process all these intense information. I came to the conclusion that Rex needs time, just like I need trust. I trust Rex. I trust Rex with my heart and soul. I trust Rex completely and that is weird for me. Ever since my bad experiences with Austin and Stuke my trust in men is extremely low. I don't have a problem with trusting Rex and that is such a relief as well as lift off of my shoulders. I need someone I can trust. Rex agreed with me and was happy that I pondered so intently last night's discussion. Rex turned to me wanting to say something important, I could just tell. He had his serious face on. He said, "Taylor, I want you to be more than my girlfriend...I want you to be my best friend." There have never been more perfect words formed by any man in existence. Literally the most romantic thing a guy has ever said to me, ever. My heart melted, my stomach had butterflies, and my only response was a quick kiss before I told him that I wanted him to be my best friend too.

Rex and I are dating. We are becoming each other's best friend: a person to turn to, shoulder to cry on, person to edit papers. Rex and I are immersed in college life yes, but we are doing it together. Not having to face each day alone, knowing he will be at my side is the most comforting thing ever. We have the desire to date, we have trust in our relationship, and we are loving the time we are spending just to be the other's best friend. Rex and I are standing at our beginning. I, for one, could not be happier because I am standing at the beginning with him.