Saturday, July 12, 2014

My Special Experiences

My personal journey started when I was fifteen years old and I was faced with my greatest trial. How unprepared I was for that day that my personal life would cross over into my school life. My education became permanently changed as I made a mistake that shaped my education for the years to come. Someone did a great and terrible injustice to me and I had never felt more alone. I went to spend a week I Oakley Idaho I place that I like to call my safe haven. Because I wanted to feel again. I know what it is like to feel spiritually dead and question my faith. I couldn't comprehend how someone of my same faith could treat me so poorly. I felt completely numb. My confidence was shattered. I felt absolutely alone. I could feel the darkness of Satan surround me and I was lost. Then I heard a voice say, “I am the judge. You are my servant. Serve me.” I was judging those people so harshly, but that was not my place or my right to do. It is our Redeemer Christ who will judge the world. I knew in that moment that the gospel was true even if it was run by imperfect people. “There is no obstacle too great, no challenge too difficult, that we cannot meet with faith.” Gordon B. Hinkley I met my trial with an inkling of faith and that has turned out to be the biggest building block in my life. “If we have faith in Jesus Christ the hardest as well as the easiest times in life can be a blessing.” Henry B. Erying. That trial has become my greatest blessing. Because now I have personal conviction. I know the gospel of Jesus Chirst is true. I am sure of it. And I am on the Lord's side. “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted.” Orson F. Whitney deceased General Authority. Nothing is ever wasted we can take something terrible and make it good by taking to the heart and letting it change us for the better. I changed. I am a different person today then I was 5 years ago. I am a different person today then I was a year ago. And I am a different person today then I was yesterday because I am becoming better. The change can either come in big, huge life-changing trials or it comes by increments just a little at a time. I have learned that if I have changed then why do I see others as I remember instead of looking at them as who they could be? Why do I have to judge others to their old standard if I want to be seen for the good instead of the bad? Why don't I look at people they way Christ does? A way in which he sees are true potential of what we can become instead of the weak, imperfect It is because we are his children. Parents are the greatest examples of being building blocks in their kids lives. They constantly encourage us to be better, give us new opportunities to show change, and can be our greatest critics to push us to greater heights. Now take all of that and take it to an eternal perspective. That is how Christ interacts with all of his children, but he is perfect unlike our parents. We can become frustrated, discouraged, and even feel judged by our parents...but Christ is the perfect being in whom we can turn to and trust completely in to help us return to our true home, our heavenly home. Now this change doesn't happen all at once, it happens over a lifetime. Change isn't easy. But Christ said, “I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.” It is worth it to be to change, for him, for myself, and for my family. Let's now look at this change from the outside. I want people to see for who I can be not necessarily for who I am at the moment. This teaches me that I, like myself, need to ALLOW other people to change. Allow other people to be better in your eyes. Allow yourself to focus on the good instead of conscretrate all your energy on who they once were. See people as they can become. See them as a parent see their child. See them as Christ sees them. When we all take this perspective of looking from the outside in we get out of this box that we make for ourselves that lets us see people as people instead of problems or objects. Thinking outside the box for me has never been so spiritual. And I testify changing the way you think changes who you are. Our thoughts are the core of everything we do. Our brains can never erase a bad image, movie, or painful words. It remembers them. But when we turn to Christ and ask for forgiveness he takes them away. He makes them white, pure, and ultimately forgiven. He remembers our sins no more after we repent in the right way, his way. And never should we. Christ is my elder brother and I know that he looks out for me. Another special experience I have had in my life happened at efy. I have never felt like I was good enough. Like I never measured up. Like I could never be all that God knows I can be. This is mostly because I am way too hard on myself and of the people around me. The session director looked in my teary eyes and without me saying a word he knew. He knew. He said to me, “You are enough.” None of these boys at this time in life are good enough for a daughter of god. Because he makes all his daughters special. These boys need to go the the Lord and become one with him as they serve a mission. Then these boys will become men of God that will be worthy of any of His precious daughters. No words have ever been more perfect at any other time in my life. Because right then, right at that moment god spoke to me through one of his servants. This taught me a very important lesson which will always be a special experience in my life and that is to Let God Love You. Let God Love You. Let him pore his blessings upon you and help you to become a son or daughter in whom he is very well pleased. Help Heavenly Father by letting him help you. We don't always have to be so brave and go through things alone. Because we are here to help each other turn to our Father to become his forever. This leads me to the top of Rocky Mountain on a pioneer trek when I was 14 years old. The boys had all left to war and us sisters said As Sisters In Zion as we pulled every hand cart up rocky mountain. And to my utter surprise I saw all the men lined up on both sides with their eyes in tears and hearts conflicted as they stood along the sidelines and watched as people they love suffer. I felt completely filled with love. And there was this overwhelming filling of unity as we continued on our rocky path as the boys watched on helplessly yearning to help, but knowing they could not. At that moment I knew a piece of how our Heavenly Father feels about each of us. Sometimes he as Christ did on the ship has to watch as the storm rages on and let us suffer alone to give us greater rest as he calms our seas. I hope what you take from my spiritual journey is this “It is your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself, that determines how your life story will develop.” Dieter F. Utchdorf. I know I was supposed to have all these special experiences in my life and that they were for my good. And that my trials were for me. That they have made me the person I am today and will help me be a better person tomorrow. I look forward to my next special experience as I prepare to go to God's House and take out my own endowment that will exalt me to live with my Father again someday. This will always prepare as I go with the man I love to be sealed in God's temple for time and all eternity. I want my marriage to last forever. Elder F. Burton Howard said, “If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements. You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you make it so. And it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.” Time can only tell. Time told me that I know that I am enough. I know that I am more than enough for Rex and more than enough to return to my Heavenly Father. And I know that Rex is my best. And that God's holy spirit prompted me to attend college in Arizona that I would have my opportunity to meet the man worthy to take me to His temple to be sealed forever to the man that I love. I am truly blessed and better because of the special experiences in my life. I so testify.