The Girls in my Life

These chicks ahhh I love them so much. Kaitlyn, Megan, Baylee, and Kyla have helped me in more ways then could ever be told. Kaitlyn is my roommate and how close we have grown. We can talk about everything together! She has me pinned down. She understands me and gives me the best advice. I love Kaitlyn because she always brings my problems back to me. She takes the time to relay to me that its my life. I make the decisions in my life and I don't need to please everyone. I am constantly getting input and advice about my life right now and for her to tell me that I still have control over my life is such a relief. Anything I tell her she spins and makes it great! I love Megan and Baylee to death, I do. But they don't understand me or the person I am or even how I got to where I am. Kaitlyn know it all the good and the bad. She doesn't judge. She treats people like people and never thinks less of them no matter what she is told or even what she says. People go through stuff and she is going through so much right now. It makes me really sad everything that she has faced with her ex-love. I have tried to be there for her, but I end of just crying which makes it worse. Kaitlyn is so strong and she will find herself again with or without my help. I am going to be a rock in her life and help her back because she does that for me constantly. Whenever I have trouble with something someone says I tell her and she says, "Why do you care?" I'm learning to not care what others think. I cannot please everyone. The only person that has a say in my life is my wonderful Rex. He is ahhhh....yea. Beautiful. It is our life and we share the power to make our own decisions. I am grateful to have Kaitlyn in my life even if she doesn't like Rex she respects how he is right for me and that he treats me good. Those are the important things. She is so witty! I appreciate and highly approve of Kaitlyn's humor. I would not laugh as much as I do without her. Now turning to Megan...hmmm. She is wonderful. Such a huggy person. She has bought me ice cream out of the blue just to have girl talk TWICE! Such a doll. I'm not all that sure on how possessive she is of the guys, but I know she means well. She reminds me of my friend, Cindy. She is just so giving and thoughtful...I've missed that. Then there is Kyla. She is good at everything! She can eat an entire apple even the stem and seeds. Intense I know. She is so kind to me and we are real together. I honestly miss her ever since my talk with Travis I don't see her around as much anymore. I love her genuine smile and her wrinkly eyes. She loves to cook and I will always call her if I need an ingredient or to make something delicious together. Kyla deserves a man that gives her the time of day and who wants to be around her always. She likes Travis and maybe he could become that for her, but I am skeptical. I just want the best for Kyla! I love her and her never ending list of talents! She even grows her own lettuce...I mean, come on! Last but not least is the lovely, strong, and sarcastic Baylee. Baylee and I were friends before we met the guys. She is the reason that I am surviving my Relief Society calling. I can always turn to her to listen and make me feel better. Although we have different views of time frames and planning I respect her input. However, like Kaitlyn points out to me I don't need to take upon myself her view to please her I just have to be happy and she will be happy for me. Baylee is so tan and makes me look super extra white. Baylee is selfless and I admire her in so many ways. I'm also jealous of how Rylan and her have great flow in telling their story. I love her utterly and completely. Also she makes me eat ice cream at two in the morning which is just hilarious. One word: Hawaii. Megan and Baylee will die laughing if I bring this up! Haha The girls in my life add so much joy to my life and color in the boring parts of my life. They are there for me whenever I need and always will be. I love these strong women so much and feel so blessed to have them in my life.

             

Silence Speaks Volumes

Welcome to the longest hour of my life. I was not even three minutes into my hour before I was dying to come out and speak my mind. Given the situation you would totally understand why. I was with my boyfriend, Rex Self, driving to Red Knolls with a truck full of college students as well as three trailing cars cramming with all our friends. The activity was to climb this outrageously steep mountain to star gaze and hit golf balls off the top. This would absolutely be a place where I would normally be social. This assignment made me go outside of myself to really evaluate the contribution that I have in my relationships with others. Do I add to the conversation? Do my friends expect me to talk because that is what they are used to? Would my friends realize I wasn't talking? How hard would they try to get me re-involved and talking again? My goal going into this assignment was to answer these alarming questions as the night commenced.

The glowing red numbers 8:30 were embedded into my brain as I made the personal decision to refrain from talking for an entire hour. Rex was driving Baylee's truck and was trying ever so hard to strike up a conversation with me. We had just had a little fight about my previous tee-peeing in high school with my brothers. Rex literally thought that I was upset at him for getting on me about not feeling bad about littering a stranger's yard. He kept saying it isn't normal like I had previously said. How I would of loved to be able to respond to that comment, but no I was determined to follow this assignment all the way through. Rex would make snide remarks dripped in sarcasm like, “Okay Miss Communications Major you're doing a good job at communicating.” I would simply respond my taking a bite of my Nutty Bar and looking away. Another time Rex actually brought up a past relationship where a girl didn't talk to him for an entire car ride and made him feel like I was then. What a low blow is all I could think. I would take his hand in mine smile then continue to look at the road ahead. Currently it had only been 13 minutes before Rex just came out and said that I should try speaking my feelings instead of keeping them inside. This was so funny to me because I wasn't mad at all about him not approving of my tee-peeing, I don't need his approval because it already happened and I don't currently do it in my life so it was not a big deal. Thanks to this assignment it became a big deal. Rex would not let it drop even when he was struggling to maneuver his way around the big holes in the road without making it too bumpy of a ride for the people in the back. I would just scratch his back letting him know through my non-verbal’s that everything would be okay eventually when I could actually vocalize my feelings. All in due time was my motto for the night. I would literally have to remind myself that I could just clear things up later.

Arriving at the Red Knolls I was greeted by all walks of different friends that were taken aback when I didn't say hello back. Typically, I'm the type of person that cares about others and would always ask for an update about their life or, at least, how they were doing that day. I was violating their expectations of me by not responding. However I would still smile and give them a big wave letting them know I was happy to see them. Some of the reactions I got were weird looks, double takes to see if I really wasn't talking, and lots of friends asking what's wrong. Obviously nothing was wrong with me, but I can see how my friends would think that. When I'm happy I tend to be really loud and vocal about my life, so I feel that my friends thought that I was upset or sad because I was being quiet. Quiet is not something that I am. It was fun getting all these different reactions because my being silent was just so foreign to them.

Hiking up a huge mountain not being able to speak and no flashlight is one of the dumbest things I have ever done. Good thing Rex would lead me up and look back to see if I needed help. Even though I wasn't talking to him and he thought I was mad about our little discussion he still wasn't giving up. He would ask me questions about my reasoning behind not talking. Rex knows me and figured that I just made a personal commitment to not respond because I didn't want to say something I would regret. This was not the case at all but I think it is cute that he was thinking so hard about it. Rex stated that it was like I was Ariel in The Little Mermaid which made me laugh really hard on the inside. We were sitting atop the rocks feet above the ground holding hands and looking out on the stars. Rex asked if I wouldn't talk to him about our disagreement I could at least tell him the names of the stars. I just got done with an intense astronomy star-gazing lab and knew all the different constellations and their names. I had to shake my head to comply with my assignment, but my lack of being able to speak to Rex was difficult. I really wanted to teach him about the stars and I always want to make good use of our time together, but I learned so much by simply not talking. I observed that Rex really cares. He never gave up on trying getting me to talk. He constantly asked questions trying to understand my purpose behind being quiet. Rex noticed that I was struggling and being the romantic that he is asked if a kiss would break the spell. I shook my head no, only time could do that. This experiment actually opened my eyes to the fact that Rex won't ever give up on me. It was just a nice sentiment to come to the realization of.

The group caught up with us and we proceeded to climb up the ever so sketchy mountain. I would help give people a hand and it would irritate my friends when I didn't say you’re welcome to their thanks. Some of my guy friends would pretend to throw me down a hole in an attempt to get a scream out of me. I remained strong through it all and didn't peep one single word. Getting out the golf balls and covering them in the liquid from broken glow-in-the-dark sticks was an extremely messy process. Rex would put it in my hair trying to get me to react; the things I had to endure for this assignment were definitely tests on my self-control. Then some Australian guy named Ryan came and taught me how to hit the golf ball with the gavel after I miserably failed twice in front of everyone. People would be like, “I bet Taylor wish she could say something right about now.” Yes, yes she would! Eventually I took a depth breath, ignored by embarrassment, and then managed to properly hit the golf ball off the edge. In the midst of my celebration I realized that it had been a long time since I had seen what time it was. I left my phone back in the truck because I wasn’t allowed to use it. I ran over to Rex that was telling me good job very sarcastically, but I interrupted him by commencing in a play by role of charades. I would point at the wrist and tap my finger impatiently. Rex eventually caught on saying, “Taylor it’s 9:30.” I don’t think there had ever been happier words in the history of forever. I could talk again! The first thing I said was, “I’m sorry,” and proceeded to debrief my concerned boyfriend of my assignment. Rex, along with all our friends, died laughing. They thought it was the funniest thing that I had an actual assignment that required me to not talk. Rex was extremely impressed that I went through with it and thought it was great how I went about everything. Looking back he noticed how my non-verbal’s where always comforting and understanding. The group immediately wanted to know all the stars in the night sky so for the rest of the night I would guide others to the knowledge of our universe and enjoyed the serene moment of my night at Red Knolls.

My goals for this assignment were all met by my wonderfully dedicated boyfriend along with my close friends. Everyone was worried about me because I was quiet, but after the fact they all just thought it was really cool that I pulled it off so well. They all thought Rex and I were in a bad fight and I was giving him the silent treatment. I am obviously not that immature, but I could see by the way I was acting how my behavior would have conveyed that. My roommates were all super mad at me for avoiding them all night, but I know how they can get me to laugh at the worst of times, to me, it wasn’t worth the risk. The lesson that this experiment taught me was that silence speaks volumes. There is a hidden meaning behind remaining silent that I never fully understand before that night. People truly read too much into my behavior. Everything I did had to have a purpose. I wasn’t expected to be quiet that night; all my friends wanted me to be my loud and fun self. Good thing it was only for one long hour of one eye-opening night, underneath the stars, surrounded by my friends in the dead of the night. Not only did I learn that my contribution to conversation is appreciated and expected, but it was also missed in the short time period that I choose to refrain from utilizing my ability to communicate.

Life is Short. Eat more chocolate.

YUM!!!

Ingredients:

• 6 tablespoon butter
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 1/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/3 cup flour
• 1/3 cup cocoa powder
• 2 tablespoons half and half
• 16 Junior Mints candies
• 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
• 1 teaspoon coconut oil or shortening

Directions:

1. In a small saucepan melt the butter and sugars together over low heat until combined.
2. Remove from heat and stir in the vanilla and salt until combined.
3. Sift the flour and cocoa powder together and then stir into the wet ingredients, being sure to get all of the lumps out.
4. Gently stir in the half and half. Refrigerate the mixture for 1 hour, then scoop into 8 portions.
5. Using a finger, make an indentation in the middle of each scoop and place two Junior Mints candies (or more if desired) into the middle.
6. Gently roll into a ball and place on a plate lined with parchment paper.
7. When all of the balls have been rolled, freeze them for 1 hour.
8. In a microwave safe bowl melt the chocolate chips and coconut oil in the microwave on low heat (about 2 minutes at 30 percent power) and stir until smooth.
9. When the balls have been frozen, gently roll them around in the melted chocolate with a fork. Place back on the plate and refreeze for about 5-10 minutes until chocolate has hardened.

Our Song :)

Rex is such a sweetheart and romantic. He knows just how to melt my heart. This song has been with us since our beginning. I showed this song to him because it is close to my heart. Ever since Rex will play this song and start dancing with me. I am in his arms and I am happy. I am complete. There is nothing a special as sharing a song with someone who means so much to you! Once we were just at his work before we had made our relationship official and there was Rex cutely playing this song simply because he knew how much I loved it. He then came and picked me up like a baby spinning me around into his embrace. We danced right there at his work and I will never forget how he made me feel in that moment; happy, spontaneous, wanted. Rex and I have danced in the rain together. This song is what was playing in my mind and he would spin me all around. At the institute dance he saved this song for the last dance. He looked at me like he was waiting for that moment all night. I looked at me like he was the sweetest guy on earth for remembering. Dancing with Rex is my absolute favorite thing ever. We just fall into each other's arms swaying to our own happy rhythm. Our song is All About Us by He Is We. Lovers dance when they are feeling it low...and that is just what Rex and I intend to keep doing as we develop our relationship deeper. Being a big part in Rex's life is an honor and utter joy. I love how cute we are together and I hope that he will never stop doing cute little things like dancing with me just because.

Cute Texts From Rex!!!

You know you have met someone special when they can make you smile or laugh with just a few simple words! Rex completely gets me and developing a relationship together is such a blast! Texting is a part of how we got to know one another and here are a few of the texts Rex sent to me:
hey! so when can I teach you how to play racquetball?
k so...are you going to seminar today?
sweet deal! now you can do homework anywhere...or my place (=
so how is Globe?
oh my goodness! crazy. I would not have been able to help. I am scared to death of snakes!!
cute!? do you think indiana jones is cute? ( I said yes)
thank you so much for bringing me dinner! that made my night!! =)
I am sure you will do great at it. you have the kind of personality that people like, and your a very motivated and positive person!
dont forget to dress up!(=
uh...thanks! I know I am a goof
well you are an extremely happy person yourself!
hey! I am gonna wear my pink shoes today if you want to match!
only if you want to! just a thought!
your crazy right now!
tanks...followed by welcs
I am good! payday! must celebrate with hawaiian snow!! 20 mins ok?
haha! me too. sweet dreams! (:
Love the card! and the reeses bouquet! Thank you so much! plus thanks for dancing with me. You are so amazing! and you impress me more every day! (=
bless his heart!
what a stud! way to go girl! so what are you up too?
wanna go rollar blading!?!!
goodnight pretty lady.
wait!
dress fancy. (=
FIREWORKS!!!!!!!!
where you be?
my mom is happy that you are tall
meet me halfway?
cool beans!
YOU SHED ON ME!!!!
hmmm...so are you going to be able to focus? (=
good! cuz I am not taking it back!!
have a wonderful night! (=
do you need me to bring you a light jacket? (ahhh!)
do you want me to come say goodnight?

Rex's Readings

Rex has a fascination with reading doctrine rich books that are highly recommended by the lds faith. He loves good wholesome books and although I prefer some fictional romance I too enjoy reading books about my faith. Rex has a long list of books that his loves like What I Wish I Knew Before My Mission and What I Wish I Knew When I was a Young Single Adult both by John Bytheway. Now I love John Bytheway! He is so optimistic, happy, and he can just relate. He can relate anything to anyone, it is a gift that he possesses. I love his movie Standards Night Love, I practically have it memorized! Rex loves his outlook on life and shows it by how much he refers back to John Bytheway's writings. Rex told me of another book that absolutely blew his mind! Satan's War On Free Agency by Greg Wright was just that book. Rex really wanted me to come to his same realization and wanted me to read his book. I love to read and couldn't wait to read it! The next day Rex brought it to me and I immediately started reading. I love how it really focused on the difference between choice, freedom, and agency. Once I understood the distinct differences of these key words the rest of the chapter just added upon my knowledge of the plan. I learned so much from this amazing book and from Rex's constant scribble of notes I knew he had too. I could tell that Rex loved when he understood something new, his excitement would show even in just simple under-linings and funny faces. I love how this book taught me that Satan's plan was not one of force, but of freedom. This realization is HUGE! Totally makes so much more sense because Satan is smarter than we give him credit for and knows how to manipulate bad lifestyles to the point where they become appealing. The examples of good parenting in this book are precisely what I grew up with. Good parenting is loving, but applying discipline as it applies. Rex also agrees with the parenting methods of Mr. Wright. Haha Wright is right! Reading this book with Rex helped us to grow closer. He let me inside his inner thoughts and allowed me a window into his heart. I look forward to reading many more eye opening books with my amazing, goofy man.